I’m sorry..

Sometimes, you will never realize how bad u treated others
until you see other people treated that person the same way as you. For
previous semesters, I always dislike that person in term of academic because he/she
always get lucky and manage to pass almost every exam without putting any real
effort. If he/she is really genius, I have nothing to say but he/she passes the
exam mainly through pure luck and depends heavily on course work mark. That’s the
thing that pisses me off. There were few times when I treated that person
coldly, treating him/her like an idiot and look down on him/her. I feel like its
ok to treat him/her that way because he/she deserves it. If you are not going
to help yourself, who’s going to help you?

All this while, I never realize how cruel I am until
recently, nobody was celebrating that guy/gal special day. People treated him/her
coldly too, the same way like how I treated him/her. They treated him/her that
way because he/she can’t contribute anything useful to them. He/she is the type
of person who asks many questions but never gives any opinion or idea or gives
in any effort to find out first. In other words, he/she is a liability, not
asset.

Then, there’s another guy/gal special day coming soon and I
can guarantee that everyone will celebrate his/her day, without any second
thoughts. And all this because he/she is an asset to them, he/she got brain and
intelligence. I’m guilty in this case because I acted the same way too.

I feel really terrible after knowing how awful I treated
that person. I despise people who treated other people on how useful they are
to them and yet, I become that very person I hated so much. I did try to
imagine how it feels to be in his/her shoes, to be look down and treated differently
just because the brain didn’t function at the normal capacity.

Of all the people in the world, I should understand his/her
situation better. Why? Because I’m a Chinese who can’t speak Chinese. In one
way or another, I’m not so different from him/her as there’re some parts where
I’m really really weak of.

Hence, I’m truly sorry on how I treated you for the past
semesters and how I sometimes talk bad about you in my blog. I’m Sorry..
><

 

Thanks Sultana! =D

This post is dedicated to my cool
American teacher, Sultana Maria Jiron. During the orientation night, the first
time we all met the Americans (to be more precise, they are from Texas), we
were given the privilege to choose any one of them to be our teacher. I chose
Sultana because she’s the cheerful one and look less ‘threatening’ than the
other three. I was a bit worried too that time, cause lately, any choice I made
usually end up in a mess but this time, it was the correct one.

The first reading I had with her,
we just briefly introduced ourselves and fill in some forms. (if you had read
my previous post, this is the time I made silly mistake ><) She brought
along her scrapbook and showed it to me and gosh… it was really pretty and
beautiful. She actually put in so much effort in pasting her memorable photos
and decorating it. It’s like her life diary, but instead of words, it’s filled
with photos, stickers, tickets, cards, etc.

So, we spent the time looking
through her scrapbook and from there, she explained about her culture, her
childhood, school life, church life and all those stuffs. When she was telling
me about her prom night, she asked me whether my school practiced this too.
Okay, just to let you guys know. Although both of us were speaking English, the
styles that we used were different. She used the American style while me, I
used the Manglish style.

“Do you have prom night too in your high school?”

“ No lah. In Malaysia right, most Malay school don’t have
this kind of thing one. We only have graduation night but no such thing as prom
night.”

……. *blur look* “Okay… Cool.”

-after looking at her face, only then I noticed that maybe
my English has too much Malaysian influence in it. So, from there onwards, I
did tried to be as formal as possible-

“Erm, my school didn’t organize any prom night before
because unlike your country, here in Malaysia, most schools are a little bit
more conservative. So, please do tell me more about your prom night.”

Initially, it was hard to get rid of the ‘lah’, ‘ah’, ‘oh’,
‘aiya’ and ‘eh’ when talking to her because it’s already in my blood.. But
after few readings, I did made a tiny progress..

And then, in that same scrapbook, she showed me a page
filled with movie tickets that she had kept because the tickets mean a lot to
her. And she asked..

“Do you watch any English movie?”

I know she’s just being polite and
curious but I feel insulted and hurt by that question. It’s like there’s an
invisible hand slapping me, making me speechless for a while. Do I speak like
I’m from kampung area? I always watch English language movies because that’s
the only type of movie I can truly understand. (let’s not talk about BM movies.
They always have the same plot; Pontianak, black magic, gangster on the road,
children abandon their parent, same old love stories. BM movies are like mineral water
companies, they sell the same thing, but with different name/brand only.)

Okay, go back to the topic, I told her

 “Yeah, I love to watch English movies, like Pursuit of Happiness. But I
hate Twilight, they make vampires look so tame and emo”

And she totally agree
with me! She said that the reason she went to the cinema to watch Twillight was
to accompany her sister. It’s rare to find a female who also thinks that it’s
really not cool to have a 180+ years old vampire, who sparkles under the
sunlight, preying on 18 years old teenage girl.

 The reading sessions with her were
really fun and I did learn some cool stuff from her. The 6 weeks were too short
and I wish I had more time to get to know her. I did planned to play badminton
with her and the rest of the Americans (they rarely play badminton because
their sports are mainly outdoor) but because of transport problem, I had to
cancel it and I really regret about it. Another thing I regret the most is not
buying any gift for her before she leave Malaysia. I keep on dragging and keep
telling myself that ‘never mind, tomorrow still can buy’ but in the end,
nothing..(I seriously need to stop dragging stuff!) Although the time we spent
are short, but every hour, every minute and every second spent are totally
priceless. Thanks for the memories =)

To conclude everything, these are some lessons she taught
me.

There are many types of sins in
this world and the reason why people accept/practice some sins over another is
because they view the sins like a building. For them, the more severe is the
sins, the taller is the building. Hence, most people feel that it’s ok to lie
or steal because the height of the building is only 1 or 2 stories tall. At the
same time, they feel that committing murder is more serious than stealing since
murder is a skyscraper. However, in God’s eye, since He views the building from
the top, all buildings are the same. No building is higher than the other and
this same applies to sin. For Him, all sins are equal and there are no sins
greater than the other. She told me that it’s her pastor that told her this
story. For me, that story is really ’powerful’ and I was like, “Wowww, why I
never think of it before..”

She also told me that whenever bad
things happen, her pastor will said, “Praise the Lord”. I find it weird and I
asked her why. She said, initially, she found it weird too but her pastor
explained that people always praise the Lord when good things happen but when
bad things happen, people always asked ‘Why this thing keep happening to me??
Why God treat me like this??’ But in fact, it is these bad things that usually
make us stronger and wiser. People learn more from challenges and obstacles in
life and thus, it will appropriate to thank Him for giving you the chance to
improve yourself.

These two are the most memorable
lessons she taught me but most probably you will feel like it’s nothing
special. Well, it’s because it is ME who retell the stories but if you hear it
yourself from her, suddenly everything becomes so meaningful and important.
It’s like Master Yoda teaching his Jedi some important lessons. You can’t help
it but to feel the Force.

All good things will soon come to an end. Thanks a lot Sultana, it was really great knowing you. ^^

 

Irritated by the colour yellow

I’m sure that most of you guys know what’s going to happen today right? The rally thingy, the roadblock, the yellow t-shirt, and all those nonsense. To know more about this news, you don’t have to read newspaper or watch the news on television. You can just log in into your facebook and the comments there are more than enough for you. At least, that’s what happen to me when every time I log into that website. Some people started to use the yellow badge application, some prefer to post videos and pictures making fun of that rally while the rest prefer to ‘like’ that certain pages and express their anger in their comments.

Honestly, I don’t really give a damn to those who want to go to the rally or the demonstration. I don’t care what will happen to them and I’m not saying this because I support the government. Trust me, I don’t. I only believe that every action has its own consequence and it’s up to you what you want to do with your short life. The only thing that really irritates me the most in this incidence is the people who keep voicing up their support but choose to hide in their house.

These cowards, (who always criticise the government whenever they have the chance, who keep on posting on facebook saying that they support the aim of the Bersih rally, who complains the most when there’s roadblock, and who express their disapproval of the police’s action) have no guts at all to join in the rally. You can talk so loud, complain so much but you can’t do what you say?? All you did is hide inside the comfort of your own room, sit behind your laptop and type all the crap stuffs. Your attitude is like those people who keep on pledging to save the earth from global warming but didn’t put in an effort at all. Instead, you choose to post up your concern in your profile page, just to show everyone that you care. Piece of crap.

Like I said earlier, every action has its own consequences. So don’t blame the police when there’s a roadblock all over the city’s major area. You should know that this is the result of that rally and if you support the rally, shut up and stop complaining. Don’t act as if you never asked for it. If you really do care about supporting the justice and trying to change this country for a better, act like you mean it. Stop being a pathetic loser.

You can talk, but can you walk the talk?

 

The End of LST 2011

     Yesterday night marked the end of the “Lets Start Talking 2011” program. For those who are unaware of this program, Let’s Start Talking (LST)offers a personal kind of approach to learning English language. Every year, 4 people from USA travel all the way here to help Malaysian’s students to boost up their confidence in speaking english and to let the students know that it’s ok to do mistake when speaking. There’s nothing to be a shame of that.

    I decided to join this program because I want to experience new stuff, meet the Americans and also to learn part of their culture.  It never come across my mind to learn english from them because I thought that my knowledge in that language is sufficient enough for daily activities. But I was so damn wrong. After speaking with them, I finally realise I still have so much more to learn. There’s a really huge gap between their standard and mine.

People said that 1st impression is very important. Everyone knows that and yet, I screw that up. I was 30-minutes late for my 1st reading, no thanks to the buses that stop at the road near Ktar. My teacher, the wonderful Sultana Maria Jiron, assured me that it was ok and that there’s still time to do the reading together. I was glad that she’s still willing to read with me although I have kept her waiting for half an hour. That 1st reading session was the scariest one and I never feel so intimidated before in my life to speak in english to a person. Most of the time, I was a bit speechless and don’t know what to say. She speaks so fluently that every words that comes out from her mouth sounds like a water travelling smoothly in a river. It’s hard to imagine it unless you experience it yourself.

People do a lot of silly mistakes when they get intimidated. I was a bit nervous that time but I tried to act cool, to show that I’m still in control. But the control thingy didn’t last. She asked me what course do I study, but I thought I heard ‘Where do you come from?’. And so, I confidently said “Cheras, Kuala Lumpur!”. OMG, it was so embarrassing.. I didn’t know it at first but when she gave me a blur look, only then I realised my mistake. After I told her my REAL course (she’s studying justice in law), she asked me to fill in a form about my personal details. So far, everything was ok, I filled in the form like how normal human being should do, but when reached the Religion part, I wrote “Chinese”. OMG again! How can I do such a stupid mistake?! I only noticed my mistake when travelling back home by lrt and it was too late. Such a simple form but still can do mistake. I can’t imagine what will happen if my future resumes will have this kind of silly mistakes. It’s like putting a small note on my resume, saying “Employ me at your own risk”.

The first reading session was kinda humiliating but the next readings onwards were much better. I slowly get used to it already and I was looking forward for every reading session I have with her. She’s a really jovial person, cheerful and always keen to help me to improve my skill. Her favourite phrase was “Cool!” and the thing I like about her is that she not only help me in my reading, and understanding sentences, she also share her life experiences and cultures with me. She told me that before she starts to take Christianity seriously, she faced a lot of obstacles in life, like how people (the one you called friends) treats us badly because our appearance or when they think we are not ‘cool’ enough to join them. She also shares with me the pain of loving someone so badly that you will do anything to please him/her but the person didn’t even know or noticed your feeling for him/her. From her happy and joyful behaviour, I didn’t know she had gone through such painful experiences until she told me her stories. I can easily relate to her stories too cause I experience some of it before, if not all.

There are some other cool stuffs that she shared with me and I wanted to post it here but this post becomes too long already.  Maybe for another next post, which I’ll specially dedicate to her. For now, here are the photos taken on the LST graduation night.

My cool teacher, Sultana Maria Jiron. It was during the certificate giving ceremony. Every teacher will give out certificate to those who managed to complete at least 3 lessons.

Travis Knight, the funniest one among the four. And he has the biggest hair too =) Afro!

Mike Garcia, the coolest one.

Marsha, the gentle one.

Group photo. The four Americans who travel so far for a noble cause. From left: Travis, Marsha, me, Mike and Sultana.

CB Gan, the one who has been fetching me all this while from lrt station.

Chee Hoe, one of the church member. He’s a doctor but he still willing to spend his precious time coming here and celebrate with us. He even came to take part in the recycling campaign and for that, I really admire his determination. Lol, I guess the camera flash is too bright. ^^

    It’s a happy and sad night as well. Happy to celebrate with them for one last time and the sad part is that it’s a farewell too. Thanks guys for coming here and taught us. It’s been a pleasure to know you and hope you will have a safe journey home.

 

Recycling campaign 2011

Wohoo!! My very first community service! I thought it will be a boring event but it wasn’t that bad. In fact, I did enjoyed myself through out the whole thing. After my class ended, Mr Gan, one of the committee member, fetched me from Ktar’s bus stop and everyone involved must gather at the church 1st. There weren’t much readers who came today, just around 8-10 people excluding the committee members and the teachers. So, before we start our task, each of us received a pretty cool t-shirt and some brief information about the event.

At first, it feels really awkward to walk around the TBR, stopping at each house, shouting “Hello? Helllooo!!! Ada barang untuk dikitar semula kah??”. I never asked anyone for their rubbish before and it takes time for me to get used to it. It’s really touching to see that there were some kind residents who were willing to contribute their recyclable items to this cause.  In fact, one of the residents actually praise us for our recycling campaign. However, not all the residents have that kind of attitude.

If you don’t want to give any items to us, just said no. Don’t simply create stories and treat us like a dumbo. It’s easy to spot a lie when everyone tells different stories even though they stay at the same area. One person claimed that a recycling lorry came a week ago and gave everything to them already. Another person said that the lorry visited their area 3 days ago. And one sucker said that a group of church member came few days ago and collected the same thing. If their stories were really true, they must be living in different time zone. And a friendly tips to those who hate to face us and prefer to hide inside the house when we called them. If you really want to hide inside the house and pretend like there’s nobody at home, at least switched off the ceiling fan in your living room..

At the end of the day, the amount of stuffs that we managed to collect from the residents was just okay. But the best part of the event is not the collecting stuffs. I get to spend time hanging out with my teacher, Sultana, and get to know some new people. It’s a one of a kind experience.

That’s the cool t-shirt I got for participating. It’s really comfortable to wear.

Zoom in.