Ever heard of Chuck Norris joke before? No? Then you should try reading some of them. They are really funny! I don’t know why some people are so obsessed with him that they created jokes about him. All the jokes are always about his god-like power and all the impossible feats he can do. I only watched his movie once and it was very long time ago. The only thing I can remember is that he got stranded with his group of army in an enemy base. If I recall correctly, all of his comrades died from being tortured by the enemy and he revenge their death by single-handedly kill all the bad guys, with KARATE! Can you imagine that? He destroy the whole troop of trained army with just martial art (Rambo, meet your senior). I think that’s how the obsession began.
These are some of jokes I found online. Enjoy =)
1. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
2. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life there.
3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
4. Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.
5. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
6. Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
7. If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.
8. Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
9. Aliens do exist. They’re just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
10. When Chuck Norris plays hide and seek, even Google can’t find him.
11. When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.
12. Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic.
13. Chuck Norris doesn’t call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
14. Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn’t built up the courage to tell him yet.
15. Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
16. Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language.
17. Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn’t dead. It is just afraid to move.
18. Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris…. the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.
19. Some magician can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
20. Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.
21. Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter.
22. Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
23. Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck’s gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
24. When the president pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris’s cell phone rings.
25. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
26. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack him.
27. Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake. After three days of pain and agony……………… the rattle snake died.
28. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.
29. Chuck Norris puts laughter in manslaughter.
30. The last person to make eye contact with Chuck Norris was Stevie Wonder.
31. Chuck Norris got kicked out of the gym for making the equipment work out.
32. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
33. Yoda used to be 6 feet tall till he tried that Force crap on Chuck Norris.
34. Chuck Norris won a staring contest against the Mona Lisa.
35. Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
36. When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn’t push himself up, he pushes the world down.
37. Chuck Norris puts the FUN in Funeral.